You know what, I get really annoyed when someone posts, “Would it be insensitive for me to write XYZ?” and some schmoe says, “Write whatever you want, it’s your story. Someone will be offended no matter what you write.”
I mean, of course that’s true, but it’s not HELPFUL. When you respond with that or some variant of “Someone’s going to be offended no matter what” you’re just announcing that you don’t understand racism, ableism, microaggressions, or any of a million other things that most people think about when they, you know, care about other people.
(Honestly, the people I know who say “Someone will be offended no matter what” are always the people who don’t give a shit about anyone else’s feelings and say some of the most godawful offensive stuff and then get mad when I don’t laugh at their stupid jokes. THEY think someone will be offended no matter what because they can’t go ten minutes without being rude. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with literally every person they know.)
It’s true that you can’t please everyone. And it’s true that if you write, someone somewhere will probably be offended by what you wrote. But is that a reason to not care? Sometimes something that you want to write is really truly racist and wrong, just full-stop omg NO. And maybe you genuinely don’t know and don’t intend any harm. Does it hurt to ask? When do you want to find this out: when the idea is still in the planning stages, or after it’s been through half a dozen (white) editors and hit the shelves to be seen by thousands of people?
Your story is up to you, and everything it says comes from you. So if you’re fine with the message your story sends (and yes there IS a message, there is ALWAYS a message, and if there isn’t your readers will find one), and you don’t need advice from anyone because you’ve got full confidence in what you’re saying and how you say it… Have at it. Good luck and God speed. I won’t tell you that you need to ask for advice if you genuinely don’t think you need it. It’s all you. But if someone does ask for advice, don’t tell them that it’s stupid to do so. They’re trying to be a good person. Why do you want to shit on that? If you don’t know what’s offensive, then saying nothing is always an option.
Let me say that again: SAYING NOTHING IS ALWAYS AN OPTION. It’s even in the Constitution.
Go, and be excellent to each other.
Dawn Napier 